In Celebration of the life of Nelson Madiba Mandela

Tata Nelson Madiba Mandela 1918 — 2013

Over the past few days, since the passing of Nelson Mandela, I have come across a vast array of reactions to his death, and two distinct opinions as to what kind of a man he was. Some think that he was an iconic figure and world leader, whilst others think that he was a terrorist. In fact it emerged that he was only removed from the United States terrorism list about 10 years ago, apparently having been left on this list as an oversight.

But what exactly is a terrorist? I guess the definition depends on which side you are. If you're part of a government/organisation that is trying to quell unrest as a result of unfair treatment of citizens, then you might call someone in Mandela's position a terrorist. If you're one of those that is being treated unfairly you might call Mandela a freedom fighter or hero. So basically if someone is fighting for something in alignment with your ideals, then you're likely to call that person a hero rather than a terrorist. And it's worth pointing out that, often the people who call others terrorists ignore their own atrocities in the situation. The old adage that one man's meat is another man's poison is therefore very true.

It's ironic that the passing of Nelson Mandela happened at a time that I'm trying to highlight an issue that is pertinent to the life and times of his sacrifices and vision in my previous post.

In celebration of Mandela's life I will outline why I think he is a global icon, using some of his many inspirational quotes.

"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison." — Nelson Mandela

For me this is one of most inspiring and most relevant of his quotes. It is the foundation of all that he stood for and tried to achieve in his lifetime. Consider the last time someone, known or unknown, did something that adversely affected you or your loved ones. If it was severe or unfair enough you might have had feelings of revenge or payback welling up in your being, if only for a moment at least. If you are lucky the feelings usually dissipate with time because you can let go and carry on with your life. Now imagine sitting in prison for 27 years with that feeling stewing in every sinew in your body.

Mandela realised that this feeling of unforgiveness and resentment could eat away at the very core of his being and instead decided to focus on gratitude, forgiveness and unity. His vision for unity extended to his former captors and oppressors, and indeed the vision was for the whole world. His vision was for a rainbow nation, where there is appreciation of the past, present and future, appreciation of the differences in others of a different race, skin colour, gender, ethnic origin... you name it.

"No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. Man's goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never explained." — Nelson Mandela

Mandela also realised that even his own people had learned to hate, and even if they thought they had a right to hate for all the oppression they suffered, continued hate would eat away at the very fabric of the society he envisioned. Perhaps his own people even expected him to retaliate for all the injustices they had suffered, now that he was in power. Instead he decided to lead his nation down a road of reconciliation rather than revenge. That sounds easy, but try spending 27 years held captive by your oppressors before making that kind of decision. The vision of this enlightened decision has not been fully realised yet and it is up to the new generation of young South Africans to make this a reality, for the generation now at the helm are making decisions based upon the past rather than for the future.

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead." — Nelson Mandela

Mandela's life was not his own or that of his family and loved ones. He made that sacrifice for the betterment of other people. Whether he knew it or not before he was sentenced to prison, it was certainly apparent when he was now in a position of power. His 'long walk to freedom' was always about standing up for the rights of the disadvantaged, poor and needy. He wanted to alleviate human suffering, not just from a political standpoint in terms of oppression, but to alleviate suffering because of lack of education, poverty, sicknesses and other causes worldwide. His life and death in this day, and forevermore, will be significant because he touched the lives of many in his words and deeds. And he will continue to touch the lives of many with the legacy he leaves. Perhaps it is a good time for the people who he helped to liberate and inspire to reflect upon what kind of legacy they would like to leave behind.

"I'm not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying." — Nelson Mandela

Many blame Mandela for the bombings and subsequent death of people during the uprising against apartheid and that is why they do not hold him in high esteem. But I'm often amazed at how such people ignore the atrocities that were happening and resulting in death during and because of apartheid. It's as if they think that such things were only right when they were committed in the defense of apartheid. Believe me I'm not condoning violence and murderous acts by anyone, but in as much as we might not like it, sometimes it is necessary to literally fight for one's freedom and survival, and be prepared to die in that cause. That is a fact of life and like many, I wish that was not the case, especially when innocent people die as a result of those actions. I don't know if Mandela was directly responsible for the bombings that occured but what I know is that his rebellious nature is what led him to speak out openly against the apartheid regime, subsequently leading to his imprisonment.

On a lighter note about Mandela's rebelliousness, apparently he used to purposefully evade his security personnel and go off to do his own thing or have a bit of fun (freedom) on his own. He risked his safety, perhaps because he was sick of being constantly under guard, even in freedom.

He would also not let others make his bed even as president, perhaps because no one could make his bed as 'perfectly' as he could.

Mandela realised that he was not perfect even when others tried to portray him as such and was humble enough to state that fact.

"Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do." — Nelson Mandela

I conclude with this particular quote because, although he might have been talking about his passion to see a country and a world where there is no domination over another, I see it as applying to every area of one's life, whether it's in entrepreneurship or business, poverty alleviation, relationships, leadership, spirituality, indeed anything one attempts to do in one's life. And this is the true legacy that South Africans and the world must follow. Far too many African politicians and leaders make empty promises to get elected and then forget why they were elected. Indeed these empty promises, as well as the mentality that they will be handed success on a platter, causes many Africans to be frustrated and adopt a 'serve thyself' or 'take for thyself' attitude. As a result many social ills such as crime, corruption bad governance arise as pointed out by Shane van Rensburg in my previous article. Simply put, Mandela advocated service, passion and responsibility as a means to rise out of dire circumstances to success.

God bless you Tata Madiba, Nelson Mandela.

What are some of your favourite Mandela quotes and how have they inspired you?

For more on the kind of work that still needs to be done in South Africa and indeed the world, I refer you to an issue which I thought was worth highlighting on this blog post: http://gratefulodyssey.blogspot.com/2013/11/theres-still-so-much-to-be-done-to-make.html

Be blessed always and in all ways,
Sam Maramba

There's Still So Much To Be Done To Make The World A Better Place To Live... For Everyone

A Chill Went Down My Spine...

The following are my thoughts on two articles that I've recently come across by Shane J van Rensburg (@nubbi777), an Afrikaaner from Polokwane, South Africa, which really shook me up to speak out against his hate speech.

WHAT EXACTLY DID WE STEAL FROM YOU???

http://nubbi.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/what-exactly-did-we-steal-from-you/.

This article addresses his views on the occupation of South Africa by what he terms "settlers". His whole blog is devoted towards highlighting the superiority of the white race over the black race, and blames this for all the social ills in South Africa.

Death/rape/torture threats from retarded savages!!

http://nubbi.wordpress.com/2013/11/20/deathrapetorture-threats-from-retarded-savages/.

His reactions about the comments submitted on his blog articles.

Here goes...

It's not often I take to publicly offering my opinion on this kind of matter, because often such comments are made by rather misguided and ignorant people. We always watch TV programs, mostly from countries such as the USA, about cults or sects of people who perpetuate hate speech because they think they have that right, but these programs are not normally about hate speech that is happening so close to home, (well, at home in this case).

In the first article I read, Shane starts off by calling black people "idiots", which sets the tone of his state of mind in this and many other articles on his blog. I can understand his frustration at all the social ills in South Africa at the moment, such as crime, corruption, bad governance, murder, rape, xenophobic attacks and racism. I am black and have experienced some of these things so I too am very concerned about them. Unfortunately he is contributing to the problems himself. I am a black person (emphasis on PERSON), and I agree on some of the issues he raises, but these issues are not only limited to Africa or only places where black people live. In as much as we can be frustrated by the bad things we see going on in the world, we cannot solve anything by being part of the problem.

Where I think he starts to exhibit his ignorance is where he calls the black race inferior. Yes, when foreigners started to settle in Africa there was no infrastructure, mines, roads, libraries, hospitals, universities and the English language etc, but that does not mean that these things would never have become. Every civilization has undergone its own evolution and development. Even if Africa was in the "stone age", as he says, did the rest of the world not pass through the Stone Age as well?

He then calls land ownership a western concept. I don’t know why he thinks this because any civilization started off as nomads or hunter-gatherers until they found that they could settle in one place and grow their own food and rear animals. Shane also attributes the advancement of certain technologies to the West or white people,  eg the use of minerals and metals. That may be true but it does not mean that the African civilization would not have developed the same or even better technologies as well.

The rest of the article does not warrant much more comment except that Shane seems to derive a lot of pleasure from calling black people derogatory names, all to exemplify the "superiority" of his race. In fact it's rather ironic that he refers to "Money, capital and the pivotal mechanisms of the wealth that allows you to breathe, eat, have children, live a rather healthy productive and fulfilling life...". For whom does he want all these things?

The second article is his reaction to some of the comments made on his blog about the content of his articles. Some have resorted to calling him names and even threatening his life. I considered commenting on some of the articles but decided not to for two reasons. One: it's no use debating with someone of his character. One would end up stooping to his standards. Two: He deletes comments that he does not like and only keeps comments from his loyal group of followers. He's convinced that he will succeed on a crusade to get the rest of the world to sympathize with his cause but I know some Afrikaaner people who do not hold his supremist views.

So I decided to post on my own blog as a voice speaking out against something which I truly believe is wrong - THE ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY HATE SPEECH AGAINST OTHERS OF A DIFFERENT RACE, CREED, SEX, RELIGION, ORIGIN, REGION, BACKGROUND or on any other basis. No particular man or woman is superior to another.

The truth is that the issues concerning crime, governance, corruption etc are of concern to all of us, whether we're black or white. But the truth is also that Shane J. van Rensburg of Polokwane, South Africa blames these issues on others when he is in fact contributing to the problem himself. We would all like to see the end of these issues, but this can best be done by offering plausible solutions rather than attributing them to another race and calling them names. I'm not going to call our sweet, big Boer brother names, nor am I going to threaten his life. He has a right to air his views, he has a right to have a blog, he has freedom of speech. All I'm going to ask him is whether he has really devoted his life to this cause under the "misguided" premise that he is of a "superior" race, or does he want to contribute towards positive change in this world by highlighting the issues he's concerned about in a constructive manner which allows solutions to be hammered out. When he's at the end of his days, will he feel satisfied that he has lived a life of "wealth that allows you to breathe, eat, have children, live a rather healthy productive and fulfilling life..."? Is he going to leave a legacy that will live on long after he has expired? Will he be able to say that he exercised his freedom with responsibility or will he be just another grumpy old man, full of hate?

As for myself, I'm grateful that Shane attempts to highlight issues which are of concern to me and everyone else that resides in South Africa, although his attempt, in my opinion, is overshadowed by his hate speech. It may be in retaliation to the hate speech by the ANC or other political parties but not all black people are supportive of this. By doing this he actually becomes part of the problem.

I'm also thankful that Shane has shown me the kind of character I never want to have. I want to promote principles that support equally of all under the sun.

Lastly, thank you dear Shane, for reminding me that there's still a lot of work to be done in this world in order to make it a better place for all to live,... even the Afrikaaners.

UPDATE: On the passing of a world icon, Nelson Madiba Mandela, I have written a post celebrating the life of a person who lived for the enhancement of lives of all people to make the world a better place for all that live in it. Click here to read it. 

Be blessed,

Sam Maramba

Thank a teacher today - Happy World Teacher's Day to all educators!

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY TO ALL EDUCATORS!

Happy Teacher's Day 2013! 

"If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job." ― Donald D. Quinn

I often think of my teachers, coaches and mentors, not just in school, but in all the experiences and circumstances I've had in my life. Some of them were the weirdest and most inspirational people in my life. One that comes to mind just at this particular moment, because it was not a 'normal' teaching situation, is a time where I had just joined a group of Cub Scouts in my junior school days. Very soon after my joining the group we participated in a snare hunt in the surrounding, mountainous areas of my hometown. Our task was to walk through the bush and find snares that were set to trap animals by poachers. We would then set the traps off and remove them to save the wildlife in our environment.

As we walked through the bush some fellow Cub Scouts ahead of me walked over a snake which was on our path but disguised by the leaves and foliage on the ground. Luckily they did not step on the snake otherwise we would have had a real disaster on our hands, being in the bush, far way from any medical help. And if they had stepped on it the people behind would have been the ones to get bitten.

As I got to the snake I stopped in mid-stride as I noticed the snake. If I remember well, it was a puff adder and it was very still. I notified the Cub Scout Leader and he made sure that the rest of the group negotiated this very venomous snake without any incident. The Leader later told me that he thought that I was very aware of my surroundings and that was why I had noticed the puff adder and the others had been unaware of its presence. Whether I've still got that sort of character or not is something for another article, but the reason I mention it here is that he gave me a reason to start to discover the other qualities about myself that are unique. Up until that moment I did not appreciate that there might be gifts in me which are unique. I always had this impression that I was nothing special. It seems funny to say this, but up until that moment I was not aware that I was aware.

A group of Cub Scouts very similar to our bunch.

I can't remember whether it was on the same snare hunt or on a different occasion, but another lesson comes to mind. While crossing a small river, during our escapades, another group disturbed a swarm of bees. The group behind them walked right into an angry 'cloud' of bees. I managed to stop a few moments before I got into danger and retreated. Maybe that was something to do with my awareness again but I am grateful that I did not walk into that melee.

As the group ahead tried everything they could to extricate themselves from their predicament, running, wriggling and crying out, the Leader once again stepped in to calm the situation down. He told them to stop making so much noise and to lower themselves into the water. As they obeyed his instructions their cries died down and the bees calmed down and eventually flew away. We were then able to step into the water and help our fellow cub scouts. We helped them back to base camp and the next few hours were spent removing bee stings with the few tweezers that we could find in the first-aid kits. We were glad to tweeze our fellow cub scouts and glad that we were not the ones that the bees had chosen to express their anger on and we ended up laughing about the whole scenario. The lesson was twofold: to keep calm in a crisis and to lower ourselves into the water if ever attacked by bees somewhere near water. Thankfully this incident happened in a river.

My own parents were both teachers. In fact there are more teachers or former teachers in the rest of my extended family than I can remember. I'll own up and say that I used to say that I would never become a teacher and I guess many look down upon teaching because of what's mentioned by Donald D. Quinn in the quote at the beginning of this article. I would sometimes help my mother, who was an infants teacher, to do some menial tasks such as covering books for her students. I would look at this and think to myself, "I don’t want to be doing such things for the rest of my life." I would watch her spend many hours doing schemes of work and lesson plans over weekends and holidays and this totally put me off teaching. As I grew older and learned about wages and salaries in othe careers, it further increased my 'loathing' of teaching as a career. I couldn't understand why teacher's salaries were so low, and yet they seemed to spend so many hours of their lives preparing to deliver the ultimate lesson, never mind shaping the future of so many young lives and minds.

A group of mesmerized students that could become future surgeons, but it wasn't to be for me.

During the break between Cambridge O Level and A Level we were given the opportunity to visit places of employment as part of career guidance. I chose to go to a hospital to observe an actual operation because I was considering a career in the medical field (and precisely NOT teaching). The operation we were to observe was a simple one on an elderly gentleman. It was the removal of the prostate gland, a chestnut-shaped male organ located next to the bladder and surrounding the urethra (the tube that carries urine from the bladder to the penis). The surgeon on call explained to our small group that the gland has become swollen and thus the elderly gentleman was having difficulty in urinating. He said that this was quite a common occurence in elderly gentlemen and that it was quite a simple operation to remove it and that it's use was not essential at his age. For those that don't know their biology, the prostate gland produces a fluid called prostate fluid that carries sperm cells. I guess that is why the surgeon said it was not essential in the elderly.

The operation proceeded with the patient under anesthetic and we watched as the assisting nurses uncovered the gentleman's nether region to begin the operation and prepped the patient in all sorts of embarrassing ways. We giggled of course, mostly because our group consisted of both girls and boys but also because we wondered how these nurses could do what they were doing almost nonchalantly. That was the funny part of the procedure, but soon things got rather more serious as to grab our undivided attention. The surgeon grabbed the scalpel and started to make an incision into the crotch area. As he proceed he used laser to burn the ends of the nerves to prevent excessive bleeding. That was the part that all things went asunder for me. The smell of burning flesh was too strong for me. I passed out and was prevented from hitting the hard, cold floor by a fellow student. I only regained consciousness when I was taken outside for a breath of fresh air. Nevertheless, I was able to go back into the operating theater for some post op analysis.

That incident put me off pursuing such a career, at least for then as I didn't think I would be able to stand the sights and smells associated with it. I thought that maybe a career closely related to medicine, such as physiotherapy, would be more apt. Since that day I've not really looked in that direction again.

That's me in the centre at the back during my gap year,  being introduced to teaching

As it happened, when I completed my high school I decided to take a gap year. A year later I went back to my high school to work as a "general dogs body", a stooge as we called it. I was assigned as an assistant teacher to my Cambridge A Level Mathematics teacher, during her junior Maths classes. I was given the opportuinity to do some teaching during those classes and I actually enjoyed the experience. One weird thing that I remember was having to call my former teachers and mentors by their first names. I remember one incident when my dear Maths teacher for the whole of my high school career, Mrs. Carroll, said to me, "Call me Jean-Anne." My reply was a rather perplexed, "Yes Mrs Carroll."

My other duties included coaching sport (I didn't need to be an assistant here as I managed my own teams), doing duties in the school hostel, as well as accompanying students to different types of outings and activities. I enjoyed and learned a lot during my one year stint as a "general dogs body" within a schooling environment. During that time I applied for and was accepted for a teaching bursary, in which all my university fees would be paid for, for four years and all I had to do was complete four years of teaching afterwards. I accepted and thought to myself that if teaching was not for me then I would move into a different career when my four years of teaching were up. As it happens I have spent 15 years in the profession, and although I have given up teaching in the classroom for a while, I have a feeling that my teaching days are far from over.

A teacher has to be both a teacher and a student

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” ― Gautama Buddha

This quote has always intrigued me and being an educator I find that it applies to me as well. We do not stop learning throughout our lives if we're open to learning and are mindful. I've always thought that being an educator only meant teaching in the 'traditional' sense, but I've discovered that one can teach in many OUTRAGEOUS ways. Many careers involve teaching and one cannot limit themselves to using red pens, being a so called chalk-master or even standing in front of a visible audience with the kind of technology available today. With the variety of tools and technology, the possibilities become BOUNDLESS! Whatever I find myself doing there's one thing that I've learned and it is that I am a teacher today and always will be.

Click the image to go to the website. 

I will always also be forever a student. Right now I am taking the opportunity to learn as much as I can about business. It's not very usual to think of education as a business and a saying that has been around for a very long time is that teaching is a noble profession. This has been because teachers in the normal sense are not paid very much throughout the whole world. Some people, especially in developing countries, opt for this career because there's a high demand for teachers and it is one of the easier careers to consider especially when one needs to start earning and suppoting a family. On the other hand some teachers do so because it is purely a passion and they do not mind dedicating their entire lives to the nourishment of minds for very little financial reward. But I have always wondered why this is so, because teachers are responsible for nurturing the minds of those that are in the so called more important careers where the financial benefits are greater. If other people can be in careers where they are fulfilled both in what they do and their financial rewards, why can't educators be in the same situation as well? Why can't those who are passionate about their teaching have both the vocational and financial rewards. In my opinion we as educators have got to start to think of our vocations as business. We have got to redefine our careers and the possibilities of how and what we can teach in order to bring about more fulfillment both in terms of what we achieve with our students and the rewards we get. The art of teaching is being revolutionized throughout the world by teachers who have realised that they can be fulfilled by their effect, not just in classrooms or lecture theatres but of the world at large, whilst being rewarded financially for their efforts.

I am learning as much as I can about business and I have found my teacher.

I have become a student of business and am on the lookout for any opportunity to learn. My latest find is an audio newsletter by David Shepherd. David is a former University Business Professor at the University of Texas in Austin, an author and a Design Industry Consultant. He has founded and is CEO of SmallBIZ CEOs which offers the product that I am using. He also founded a company called Design Principles Inc. He holds a Master of Business Administration (MBA) degree from the University of Texas at Austin.

David Shepherd, CEO & Founder of SmallBIZ CEOs.

Through a decade of dedicated study, the former business school professor, David Shepherd understands business. After twenty years of teaching entrepreneurial finance and strategy for one of the nation's top-ranked business schools, David turned his sights on the surprisingly complex industry of interior design. As an instructor, David was routinely rated among the most popular by the hundreds of undergraduate students in his classes. As a professor of high-tech finance for the prestigious ICC Institute of the University of Texas at Austin, he was given the award for "Outstanding Contribution." As an entrepreneur himself, David has started several successful businesses including technology and service firms, having raised millions of dollars along the way.

Based on his best-selling book, Your Business or Your Life: 8 Steps For Getting All You Want Out of BOTH, David designed a workshop for interior designers in 2002 at the request of a national trade association. Additional workshops and consulting work followed and David became enamored with the field and the impact he was able to have on these talented small business owners. Over 3,000 interior designers have attended a live “8 Steps” workshop and thousands more have read the book.

David Shephard looking very focused during one of his conferences. 

To reduce traveling, he founded the Business of Design Conference in 2004, an annual event where interior designers come to learn how to clarify their strategies and improve their bottom lines. The conference, which ran for 10 years, remains the sole event of its kind in the industry, (that some designers have been to all of them, speaks volumes for its value).

To work more closely with select designers, David then formed the Best Practices Network, or BPN. This was a membership of from 70-100 design firms nationwide who attended semi-annual conferences and participated in online forums to share their “best practices” with each other. Members also received a monthly audio newsletter prepared by David to keep them up on the most current changes in the business environment, as well as leading edge strategies to capitalize on those changes. He has documented many of these best practices through more than 400 audio tracks developed for BPN Members.

SmallBIZ success is now just one inch from your brain

Through his “Designing Your Future” consulting process (DYF) he has helped to redefine and restructure the focus of many individual designers. The process, including time with David on site, is consistent with David’s philosophy of closely linking business and life goals.

More recently, David has completed a manuscript version of The Path: A Course in Prosperity for Interior Designers and Decorators. This book (also a Webinar course) lays out 12 radical new approaches that designers must take in order to succeed in the post-Recession economy. In addition to his business books and articles, David has also written three novels including a literary work praised by both a Nobel Laureate and Pulitzer Prize winner, a historical novel on the Conquest of Mexico, and a Washington D.C. thriller.

After a decade as a design consultant, David Shepherd retired. "I never knew how fast a decade could pass!", he said.

"There I was back in 2003, innocently teaching small business finance and strategy at the University of Texas at Austin when I was asked to make a presentation to an interior design society. Interior design was a business? Who knew!"

"The rest, I suppose, is history. What I discovered was that interior design is just about the most complicated business on earth to run. And I also discovered that most of its practitioners don't get a lot yof business training in school."
"So I decided to fill the gap. Ten years later, after producing and delivering 19 unique conference events (from Cancun to New York to LA), consulting with dozens of firms, writing and recording over 400 audio tracks and countless reports and papers, I've decided to resign!"

"Well, I've decided to make a career shift—to writing books full time. But before I do, I'm going to present to a precious few designers (and friends) the "101 Best/BEST Practices" I've ever seen."

"On the one hand, I can't wait to settle into that quiet library in Santa Fe to write. On the other hand, I've grown to love this industry and its entrepreneurs. [My work has been] filled with emotion, celebration, laughter, and the highest level of education ever offered in your field."

He lives in the Dallas Fort Worth area where he writes and runs as often as he can. Shepherd holds B.A. and M.B.A. degrees from the University of Texas at Austin where he was also an All-American track and field athlete. He enjoys time with his sons, an attorney and an accountant.

Click on the image to find out what the audio advantage is all about. 

As a result of his lifetime work David has founded a company called SmallBIZ CEOs. He produces a monthly audio newsletter to which I have subscribed am trying out for 30 days. In it he shares the lessons he has imparted through his workshops. He is passionate about small business although his lessons can be applied to large corporations, start-ups or small business. I have been impressed by what I have listened to so far and I urge you to give it a try for yourself. The newsletter enables you to share the knowledge you pick up with others in business while earning a passive income yourself. It is FREE to try for 30 days and if you are not satisfied you can cancel your subscription at the click of a single button on his website, without paying a single cent. The audios are fully downloadable so that you can listen to them at leisure on your favourute device. There are also weekly Webinars to discuss the material in the newsletters.

Click on a banner or link anywhere in this article to go to David's website. 

I am thankful that David has taken the time to make his Audio Newsletter. I have been in contact with him and hope to be able to host him in the city of Johannesburg in the near future. He says that he's as far as 15 minutes to the nearest airport and a 20 hour flight from Dallas to South Africa. Thank a teacher today for all the things that you have learned and experienced. Be thankful for your life for it has been your greatest teacher.

Be blessed,
Sam Maramba

SmallBIZ CEOs audio advantage

Emotional Attachment to Objects vs. Healthy Relationships

What is Emotional Attachment?

As promised here's the second installment of the article on letting go of attachments. Click here to the link to the previous one. 

Emotional Attachment

The web dictionary defines emotional attachment as,

“physical desire for something or someone, and the inability to release or do without that thing or person.”

Do you have unhealthy emotional attachment to objects?

How you might become emotionally attached to a brand or object. 

The above graphic shows how one might be emotionally attached to a certain brand or object. If your happiness rests upon having a certain object or thing, then your emotions are attached to that object or thing. The attachment causes you to forego your personal development and growth, at the expense of having that thing. Ask yourself the following:

1. Is it possible to have/love this thing/person/situation without being completely attached to it?
2. Why do I believe my life will fall apart without __________?
3. Why do I believe I can only be happy if ________?

Stages of Emotional Attachment

A mother and child form an emotional attachment. 

We're all attached to things in our lives. It all starts from a very young age where, when we feel hungry, we cry out for our mother's comfort and milk. Unless she cuddles us, we cry out until the comfort we require arrives. As we become toddlers we start to have emotional attachment to specific toys that we 'cannot' do without or a certain favourite meal, prepared in a certain way, and if we don't get these things, exactly the way we want them, when we want them, then we complain.

Some toddlers cannot sleep without their favourite teddy.

As we get into our teens we will have attachments in the form of friends or cliques, favourite places to sit in class or on a school bus, cellphones and gadgets. The words "MY" and "MINE" tend to come out of our mouths more often and if anybody else takes OUR object or starts to hang out with OUR friends then war breaks out.

Keep away from MY things.

In fact we can end up having signs on our bedroom doors that warn others to KEEP OUT, just so that we can protect our space and our things. At school we can get very upset if someone sits in our place in the classroom, cafeteria or school bus. Seniors start to demarcate certain areas for seniors only, such as special lawns or common rooms and if a junior infringes upon this territory then it's a huge issue.

A Possibly Unrelated Story

The topic of seniority reminds me of a funny story that happened when I was a senior at school. A new kid arrived at the school who had been exposed to schooling in the UK. Although he is African, he had a strong pommie accent.

As seniors we could always get someone else to do the queuing. 

One of the privileges we had as seniors was that we could send juniors to the tuck-shop to buy things for us. We were not harsh about it like I had heard was happening in certain other schools. Apparently in these other schools as a junior, a senior could actually send you to buy something at the tuck-shop with your own 'hard earned' bucks and you could not make any objections about it to anyone. You would just have to go to the tuck-shop, purchase whatever was requested and then hand it over, no questions asked.

Anyway this young African pommie seemed a pleasant fella and a fellow senior and I spent some time chatting to him during one break time, finding out a little more about him. We were especially entertained by his pommie accent because it was very different from the colonial English that we were used to.

Towards the end of the break my friend decided to send this young fella to the tuck-shop to buy us two cream sodas (we totally adored cream sodas then, but I can't think why). He seemed quite a sensible fella and he seemed to be of the understanding that we were the 'big shots' in the pond, so it was to his advantage to stay on our right side. My friend searched in his pocket for a note which would cover the purchase and although he did not mention it, he fully expected to get some change from the purchase. The young African pommie gladly accepted the note and scurried off to the tuck-shop without a second thought.

Meanwhile we laughed to ourselves about how enthusiastic the young man was and we carried on with our break time duties. Just then the bell for the end of break rang and we turned around to see our new student walking towards us with two cream sodas in hand. He gladly handed them over to us with a smile and we thanked him. My friend waited patiently for his change which was not forthcoming. He eventually asked about the cash and then a very perplexing reply came from the young man and I will never forget it so long as I live.

"I bought me'self a croonchie ". 

"I bought me'self a croonchie", said the rookie.

We paused a moment because we were not used to the accent and thought that we'd misheard the reply.

"What did you say?", my friend asked.

"I sed I bought me'self a croonchie."

"What's that?"

"A croonchie."

"Oooh... a Crunchie!"

By this time we were very weak at the knees and seething. The fact that this young man had had the cheek to use the change for his own purchase caught us off guard. We felt powerless to ask why he had thought that he could buy himself a "croonchie". We just stared at him and eventually told him to go to his next lesson.

We looked at each other in disbelief. All the things we could have possibly imposed on this fella as punishment for having done such an atrocious act were forgotten. It was just unbelievable and in anger or shock, I can't remember which now, we hurried on to our next class.

Much later we recalled the whole event and laughed at it and in the midst of repeating that fateful statement, "I BOUGHT ME'SELF A CROONCHIE", over and over again, the young man became known as CRUNCHIE, even to those that did not know anything about that event. I think even to this day he is still known by that name even though the event happened a long time ago.

Now, why did I recall that event again? Oh yes, it was this idea about attachment to objects and things. We were attached to our seniority and when someone did not see us that way we were offended to the point where we could not believe it. We were also attached to the money. We expected that the young man would go and carry out the task requested of him and return our money, without expectation of anything in return.

Mobile phones,  cars you name it, are gadgets close to a man's heart. 

Moving into adulthood we also get attached to many things. We buy a lot of possessions because we now have the earning power that we've always wanted and we stock up our living environments with lots of goods, some of which we don't really need. Some of the goods are for comfort or to make our environment look lived in or for so called ambiance. We keep some of the things from our younger days because they hold a special place in our hearts, even though we don't need them anymore.

Click here to read about Kaitlin's story.

Sometimes we wait/hunt for specials on 'perfect' goods that we've always wanted or of a certain type or quality. We think that these goods will serve us for a lifetime. But life changes though and what could have been good for us to have, might not serve us best in another part of our lives. There's a saying that suggests that holding onto things in our lives so tightly prevents our fists from opening up to receive more and better things.

My battle of the Mind & Belief System

The antidote for emotional attachment is to start practising the art of non-attachment. It sounds easy, but it can be quite difficult, as I am experiencing, but it is a step in the right direction.

I've come to the crossroads as it were, about some of the objects in my life. I've started to get rid of some of them and there seems to be resistance from the family about getting rid of them, probably because at this moment there're no immediate plans to replace any of them. Some other reasons might be that when we acquired certain objects they were 'high quality objects' at an unbelievably low price, so they said.

I myself had an inexplicably negative reaction when one of the objects was wheeled away. Even though I am the one who initiated the 'cleaning up' exercise, and I thought I would be fine with this 'cleansing', I was quite visibly distraught. I took a shower and played some jazz to get over it. I was fine after that but perhaps it would be a good idea to prepare members of the family before the next object makes its way out. My wife is particularly attached to ‘her' microwave oven, so perhaps that will be one of the last objects to go.

I've also started to go through every room in the house, looking for anything that I can throw away, every scrap of paper I've ever kept. I'm a stationery-keeper. I keep pens, sometimes even when the ink has dried out. I don't like to throw away paper, perhaps because I was taught about tree conservation from a very early age. I have many out-dated gadgets and accessories that have long ceased to be useful. During my childhood we did not have many store-bought toys and so we always had to make do with what other people had no use for, which we used to make our own toys. We kept most things just in case we could find a use for them later. Clothes were sometimes handed down to siblings and so I have a lot of clothes that I no longer use but keep, just in case I can find some relative to give them to.

I am re-examining my belief system to see exactly why I have these emotional attachments to certain objects. It even goes to the extend that if I see someone else getting rid of something, I immediately consider whether I can make use of it or not. This sometimes results in my space being crowded with things that I never find another use for. For me, this is an emotional battle and cleansing, which if I keep at it, will be greatly beneficial. Physically clearing my living space of unnecessary objects has several advantages:

• The house is a lot cleaner, obviously
• It is easier to clean the house and to keep it clean
• The physical clearing of the mess is symbolic to clearing the mess in our lives
• It clears our minds and living space for simplicity and more creativity
• The process of letting go of objects which we might be emotionally attached to is therapeutic
• Very often the process of looking for things to clear away objects enables you to brainstorm while at it
• Letting go allows new things to come into our lives, both spiritually and materially

Creating Healthy Relationships vs. Emotional Attachment

When we look at objects, they are just that - inanimate objects. What is it that makes objects so 'precious' in human minds? What is it that makes humans so unwilling to part with their possessions, sometimes sacrificing connections or relationships with others?

Relationships last a lifetime. 

Sometimes when I get 'stuck' in a philosophical whirlpool I think about how the person who invented money really ruined the fate of humanity. Yes I agree, we have to have some sort of method to barter goods and services, but when you actually think about it, money is just glorified paper and therefore could be used to do any of the things 'normal' paper is used for.

Need change to buy bread?

Just listen to the jokes that fly around about when the currencies of certain states decrease drastically in value. In Italy for example, one had to go to the bakers to buy a loaf of bread with a wheelbarrow-full of money.

You needed a bundle of these to buy toilet paper.

The currencies in Zimbabwe and Argentina also fell so drastically that the prices changed by the time you got to the till to pay for the goods. The Zimbabwe dollar got to such a low that it was supposedly cheaper to use the notes as toilet paper than to actually buy it (at least that was one of the jokes flying around).

The value of any commodity, stock or currency on the market depends quite heavily on sentiment and I propose that this is exactly why humans find it difficult to let go of objects - the sentimental attachment. Is it not more fulfilling to attach oneself to building relationships with people and helping build people, rather than to build up a pile of possessions? Is it not better to ensure that your emotional relationships, whether with objects or with people, are healthy relationships?

Always keep in mind that the value of objects depends on sentiment and like currencies, the value could be different overnight. The value of relationships, if they are kept healthy, lasts a lifetime so rather invest your time, energy and effort in maintaining meaningful relationships with your loved ones.

Tell us what you think in the comments section.

Be blessed.

Emotional Attachment to Objects

What is your deep reason for attachment to objects? 

Do you ever notice your attachments to objects such as a cool sweater, a new gadget or any other thing that would make you feel bad if you lost it. Sometimes it's an object that has been part of our lives for a long time or just a short while. Sometimes it's an object that we've just acquired and have always wanted in our lives. Whatever the case, we all get attached to objects in our lives and we resist letting go of these objects to allow new things to come into our lives.

This morning I received a call that required me to act immediately on some matter or else there would be some sort of consequence. The situation required me to find a resource which I do not have access to at the moment. I guess the caller did this to jolt me into some kind of action or perhaps even make me panic. I did not want to panic then and neither do I want to panic ever (the temptation is always there though).

I sat down after the call and thought about the situation. I do not like receiving such calls and I certainly do not like to panic about something that I have no control over. Recently I also attended a business seminar and one of the things discussed was that we should get rid of the messes in our lives, whether physical, psychological or spiritual. These messes affect the smooth running of our lives and in my opinion actually indicate how smoothly our lives are running in the first place. It was also suggested that we should set a monthly goal to clean up the messes little by little. I consider the situation discussed during the phone conversation a mess in my life.

Life is about creating new paths. 

I then looked around my house and all the objects that are in it. I asked myself whether some of these objects are a mess in my life at the moment. Of course there is some clutter that I've put off throwing away for some time, but I was actually considering other, still useful objects, ones that I still use; the convenient ones.

I asked myself, "What is the deep reason for being attached to these objects? What am I or other members of my family afraid of, such that we cannot do without these objects which we don’t really need or are just cluttering our home and our lives?" I thought of the situation where someone goes out to buy objects that they don’t really need and pile them up in their home after a short period of use. Then they move onto the next purchase.

No object will ever satisfy your soul. - Dave Ramsey

Some people don't necessarily go out and purchase new things all of the time, but keep things in their lives long after their usefulness. I suppose the system of hand-me-downs, often used by low income families, also causes people to hold onto objects, where it is out of necessity that clothes, shoes etc are kept and handed down to siblings. My point here is that it is human nature to cling onto objects whether we actually need them or not.

There's need to consciously consider our attachment to objects because holding onto them might cause clutter in our homes, our minds and in our whole beings. The attachment to these objects might be the reason that new and more exciting possibilities don't easily come our way, either materially, emotionally or spiritually.

Can I find the strength to let go of the attachments I have to 'my' objects and give them away or get rid of them? What if I take the opportunity to clear my life of all the unnecessary objects in my life? Maybe if I can find the strength then I'll be able to get rid of all the other 'objects' which I had intended to get rid of in the first place. And if I have to get rid of objects, not necessarily because they are creating a mess in my life, but because I want to start afresh and make room for something new, can I find the strength then?

Come back to this blog to find out what I did and whether something new actually materialised for my family and I.

Be blessed,
Sam

Love the Life you Live, Live the Life you Love

You wake up one day and you realise that something is wrong. You don't feel quite right. You think about your life and realize you've been sailing in the wrong direction, without a rudder or navigation system and you've gotten lost. Somewhere along the line the dreams and desires you formulated when you were still young and inexperienced in the intricacies of life have almost been forgotten - shelved away in the recesses of the mind. Life has happened and the once promising future you looked forward to has given way to a mundane, almost miserable living, that does not inspire one to live a life full of joyful.

That happened to me. As a child I grew up with a reasonably provided-for life. The first eight years of my life were in a rural part of a country which had been colonized since 1890. During that part of my life I experienced the last part of a war of liberation that had been going on for about 30 years. I saw and experienced things that no child should ever have to experience. Those experiences I shall look back on in another blog article.

Despite the circumstances of those years my father provided very adequately for the family. My older sister was able to attend school at a very reputable mission school and we were able to afford the basics of life and lived in relative comfort. Our happiness did not depend on the possessions we had but on the fact that we had family and everyone did their part in the best way they knew how and we just got on with the business of living despite the war going on.

When the war ended in 1980, we looked forward to a new way of life and that's when my father decided to move the family into town. Our whole way of life changed for the better and we had the opportunity to experience new ways of living and once forbidden opportunities - attending once whites-only schools, living in areas where you could have only gone if you were going to work as a gardener or maid. I could say that I almost took for granted the privileges that my father never had when he was growing up. He was able to provide a whole new way of living that I'd never dreamt off. Beforehand, my world was limited to the experiences I'd had in the bushes and by the streams of my life in the rural areas. Then, the only thing I really looked forward to was going on a trip into town and the opportunity to have a meat pie and a bottle of soda. My favourite flavour was Fanta Orange, and yes... it is still bottled in this part of the world.

My schooling was great. I remember the first white person I sat next to in class. Her name was Odette and I'm in contact with her through social media, almost 23 years later. I remember the first (and last) person who bullied me at school. His name was Louis and again I'm in contact with him.

My journey through junior and high school was filled with many wonderful and life-changing experiences, including evolving from being a sickly, slightly chubby asthmatic child, to a fully participating sportsman, learning how to play bridge and attending ballroom dancing classes, breaking bones during sporting activities. It was a rich life in terms of experiences and exposure to all that life could be. It filled my mind with all sorts of possibilities and I was not afraid to experience new things or to experiment and discover. I was the first in my immediate family to have the experience of attending university and I thought that nobody could stop me now. In my youth I had a lot of hopes and dreams, and despite that I didn't have any idea how all of it was going to be realised, I knew I had it in me to find a way to implement my ideas.

One other factor I must mention here is that I never thought much about what my passions were. My parents were both educators and as I watched them work (sometimes helping), I vowed to myself that I didn't want to ever be an educator. I focused mainly on what I didn't want to be but never gave much thought to my real passion. I assumed that all would be taken care of when the time came. Although I knew that there was a whole world out there for me to explore, I never searched deeper to see where I fitted in. As I explored the world around me, I was aware that there were a whole lot of problems to solve in the world and I began to formulate ideas as to how I was going to contribute to solving some of them.

The opportunity to go to university came in the form of a teaching bursary. The country needed more teachers of a high calibre and I was offered a bursary to attend university outside of the country, get a degree in subjects that really interested me, and then come back to my home country to teach. I gladly took up this opportunity, thinking that I would only be bonded in the profession for a short while and then I'd be able to change careers after that. After all, teaching was in my blood. My parents were teachers and my grandfathers and some of my uncles were church ministers. I was told I had a natural ability as an educator. I latched at the opportunity as it even included a stint outside the country, and I'd never been out of the country before.

To cut a long story short, this resulted in a 15 year career in teaching, where recently I asked myself, "Where am I going with this?" I'm not bashing teaching, and for those of you in teaching or intending to teach, this is not meant to dissuade you. I was merely asking the question of myself to find myself again.

I have enjoyed most of my years in teaching and have learnt a lot. I appreciate all that it has taught me and I can have no regrets about the path my life has taken thus far. I think I've learned some skills which I'm going to have to use, and further refine, in whatever direction my life will take from now. At this particular juncture I just have to revisit those days where I remember being inspired to be imaginative and creative. I have to return to the days of exploring and finding out more about myself, the world around me and what I can do to contribute to it. I have to find my passion, mission and song, and as author and entrepreneur Brendon Burchard aptly puts it, at the end of my life I want to able to say that I lived gratefully, l loved graciously and I mattered - my life had purpose.

So, on this blog we will celebrate anything and everything in life. I will listen and look around me and anything which inspires me to write about my gratitude for it in my life, will end up here. I want to celebrate life and instead of expecting life happen to me. I want to use the power of that gratitude to inspire the creation of more to be grateful for in my life as well as anyone that reads the material.

If you come back here often, you will laugh, you might cry, but most of all I hope you'll be inspired to live your life in gratitude and to create a life that you can be grateful for.

With love and gratitude always,
Sam.